The cravings are REALLY BAD today.  I’ve been fighting the urge to order pizza for about the last THREE HOURS.   So far I’m winning…

I’m sure the cravings are because I’ve been trying to fix system problems at work…for three days now.  It’s like friggin’ whack-a-mole – every time I get one part of the issue resolved, another part raises it’s head.  Somedays I really wish I never started down the sysadmin road 15 1/2 years ago…  Don’t know what I’d be doing, but I’ll bet it would involve more sleep and less annoyance.

Since I’m still working on the problem and I HAVE to get it fixed tonight to keep a project on schedule, I had to cancel Pilates… Not happy about that.  Not that my knee is feeling all that hot, but I think Pilates would have helped it.  On the plus side at least I can bend it today.

OMFG I want pizza soooo BAD!!!!!!  Nothing I’m trying is distracting me from that craving…  I just want to eat it until I feel sick…

yummy, yummy pizza...

yummy, yummy pizza...

I’d run to the store to get something to help fight it, but I’m pretty sure I’d end up coming home with nothing but junk food, so I’d stuff my face with junk food and STILL would want to order pizza…

I hate having to white-knuckle my way through these cravings…

But I really want to see a loss when I weigh in on Friday…and I really like that I’ve gone 25 days without pizza…

But I really want pizza…

*sigh*

it’s all I could think about driving home….not sure why.  I had breakfast, I had lunch, and yet I was still STARVING, all I wanted to do was eat pizza.

I’m sure it’s because I’m soooo bored at work (not anywhere NEAR enough work to keep me busy) – and boredom is a big binge trigger for me.

BUT I resisted!  No Pizza!  YAY!  No Fast Food either. 

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Today it’s not about the weight loss, or my eating.  And I saw the Evil Trainer – he kicked my ass hard (but it felt good – I’m definitely getting stronger!).

No – the wallowing I’m currently indulging in is because I’m watching “Say Yes To The Dress” on TLC and I’m realizing chances are I will never find my someone and walk down the aisle in a gorgeous white dress.  *sigh*  :(

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I know I didn’t meet ANY of my goals, so I have to put on my big girl pants and pay up on the deal with the Evil Trainer…  Not sure if I want to deal with sit ups or push ups…

Still going to get measured and set my goals for September – I don’t want a bad month to trip me up.  My hope is that if I keep trying, eventually something will click in my head, and I’ll start doing the things I need to do to lose the damn weight.

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OMFG….I didn’t think today would EVER end!

Food wasn’t the problem (for once)….

Problem #1 – Tortuous office chair.  I now have pain all the way down my right side and my right ankle is swollen as well.  And this is from the “better” chair I found at work.  *blarg*

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FINALLY got the system problem resolved at about 23:30 last night.  THANK GOD!  Had to do a small amount of work this morning- but I actually got to enjoy my day!

To celebrate, I finally ordered myself an “Entertainment Center” (okay, it’s really a long, low dresser) from Room & Board.  Check it out:

sherwood

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It’s Friday….I put in my 40 hours sometime midday yesterday, but here I am STILL working on getting the #%(#*&$$@^&^#$&)_!@** system happy!  And you know what I want?  What would taste OH SO GOOD?  THIS!  It’s healthy – there’s fresh fruit in it!  I think 2 or 3 blenderfuls of those would be just the ticket….  ;)

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