Oh sure it was cold this morning, and I would have MUCH preferred to stay in my nice warm, comfortable bed rather than get up and go to Pilates.  But I drug my butt out of bed and went.  And (as usual) she worked me hard – though the hated leg circles did seem just a *touch* easier for me today.  But I was exhausted when we were done, so after stopping at Whole Foods, I came home and took a nap.

I do get to check a couple things off my goals for this week (and my 101 in 1001 list):

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it’s all I could think about driving home….not sure why.  I had breakfast, I had lunch, and yet I was still STARVING, all I wanted to do was eat pizza.

I’m sure it’s because I’m soooo bored at work (not anywhere NEAR enough work to keep me busy) – and boredom is a big binge trigger for me.

BUT I resisted!  No Pizza!  YAY!  No Fast Food either. 

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Went to visit my parents this morning, and as usual I really wanted to hit the fast food afterwards to deal with the worry and the stress – BUT I managed to stay away from the billions of places I pass between their house and mine.  And it’s about 7pm and although I still want to eat crap, I haven’t given in to the urge.  I distracted myself for a bit by putting together 2 of the 4 new Flor rugs I bought for the house.

Also did some work on my 101 in 1001 list – added some things, changed some other things up.  I’ve got 82 items identified so far.  I need to get some of them checked off before my Halloween party – and that’s just over 4 weeks away!

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I know I didn’t meet ANY of my goals, so I have to put on my big girl pants and pay up on the deal with the Evil Trainer…  Not sure if I want to deal with sit ups or push ups…

Still going to get measured and set my goals for September – I don’t want a bad month to trip me up.  My hope is that if I keep trying, eventually something will click in my head, and I’ll start doing the things I need to do to lose the damn weight.

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Started out crappy with the !$*&#$^*? scale.  Now granted I haven’t been working out like I know I need to, but by god my diet has improve 1000000% and what do I have to show for it???

In 2 damn weeks I only lost .4 pounds….  THAT’S RIGHT!  .4 pounds!  Not even a full 1/2 pound!

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I have NO idea how I’m doing weight wise…  I *think* I’ve lost, but I’m so out of touch with my body, I’m not sure.

I’ve been doing pretty well with the food (though today I STILL crave pizza and sweets), but I’m sucking at the exercise.  I just can’t seem to motivate myself.  Part of the problem is I HATE the MagneTrainer…it’s like riding a recumbant bike, and I can’t stand those – so in hindsight I don’t know that it was a good purchase.  But I suppose at least I’m doing something when I use it – and that’s always better than nothing….

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Good lord the cravings were bad for pizza and sweets – cookies specifically…  But I did NOT give in!  Granted the day isn’t over, and the dangerous time of the evening is still to come, but I am DETERMINED to not give in to the damn cravings….  I know if I do no matter how good it tastes, it will make me feel like crap.

I’m just going to have to keep myself really distracted tonight to keep from slipping into old habits and ordering pizza…  I think perhaps I’ll work on something from my 101 in 1001 list – there are some boxes begging to be unpacked.  And I can pull together some things to go to Goodwill…

2 more days till the weigh-in…

And I’m VERY hungry – actual hunger, not cravings hunger… must go eat now…