It’s Monday and the wind won’t stop blowing here (and it’s a damn cold wind too!) and all I want is to eat sweets…  Seriously!  To the point of pondering mixing up some powdered sugar glaze and eating it with a spoon…  That’s just not right… And fruit is not helping as a substitute for something sweet and sugary… And because I don’t keep sweets in the house, I have nothing to satisfy the cravings… Other than homemade glaze  ;)

I had a wonderful dinner (Thai Coconut Curry with Pork from The Organic Dish) – but now I want something sweet…  Sorry to obsess…

Still looking for a job – I’ve applied for quite a few and I may have a possible good lead, but we will see how that pans out.  I’m stressed still, but trying to relax about it.  Being all wound up in knots won’t help me find a job faster, and I’ve got some savings…  So I’ll just keep looking.

I’m feeling a little less dark mentally – perhaps the funk is passing, tho it’s sure to make a comeback for VD.

On the plus side, plans for being made for the annual birthday debauchery!  Drag Queen Bingo has become the tradition for my birthday.  There’s Drag Queens, Drinking, Bingo, Bar Food, Door Prizes, AND the Bingo Wig of Shame – how can you go wrong??  :D   This year the festivities will be on Friday, Mar 12.  And as you can tell I’m already looking forward to it!  Last year I think we may have been a bigger show than the Drag Queens who were calling Bingo.

And the BGBF and I discussed plans for what I will only refer to know as my 2011 birthday (I prefer NOT to think of the age I’ll be turning!) – and the plans involve a PARTY BUS!!!!

You may be thinking I’ve given up on the weight loss – I haven’t at all.  I’m just trying to not make it the entire focus of my life – makes me too crazy.

Okay – I need to go find something to distract me from the sugar cravings….

No – not talking about weight…  Talking about work.

So I haven’t been happy doing what I do for several years now, but it pays well, and I need to live and be able to even think about retiring some day… Damn the golden handcuffs…

The contract I’m working on now is winding down and I can’t even fill 40 hours a week with work.  So I’ve been kind of looking.  I had a line on a job downtown, didn’t know much about it, but then I heard this morning the job was filled.  Okay, no biggie, time to think about looking for a different kind of job.

Then around lunch time I hear the job is still open, and they want to talk to me ASAP.  So I send my resume, and have a phone interview with the hiring manager and the other guy in the group.  Work does sound interesting, and the two guys sound nice, and now they want me to come in ASAP for an in person gang interview.

I’m going to go ahead and do the interview as soon as I get word they have it scheduled…  But I’m wondering if I’m just going after this job just to have a job…  Granted in these times that’s not a bad thing, but it seems to be all I ever do.

I suppose it would be a different thing altogether if I had some specific fabulous new job/career in mind – but I don’t.  I have NO idea what I would want to do – NONE.  Well, that’s not strictly true – I was chatting with the BGBF and here’s what I told him I wanted:

  • Job I like
  • Job I don’t have to take it home with me (i.e., on-call pager)
  • Job where I don’t have to manage pissy little sysadmins

This job is not a management job, it DOES involve on-call duty, and I may or may not like it.

But it’s a job….

Perhaps I’m jumping the gun, it’s not like I have an offer letter…

Life would be so much easier if I was so rich I could just do any job I wanted and not have to worry about how much or little it paid….

Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays….

Worked from home today which means I was around the leftovers from the party which means I’ve been stuffing my face all damn day.  And good lord do I feel bloated and gross from it…

Clearly I can’t have sweets in the house or I’ll spend the day grazing.  I wouldn’t say I binged, but I sure as hell ate more than I needed and all of it was crap.

Never going to make my November 1 goal of 350 like this!  So it stops NOW.  I’m going to throw out the candy and the chips and the cheese.  I can’t have it in the house.

Tomorrow I’ll pack my breakfast and lunch and will just get myself back on track… It’s all I can do – can’t change what I’ve done today….

I see the Evil Trainer tomorrow, and I’ll do 30 minutes of cardio too.  I *should* go to the gym tonight – but I honestly think I’d throw up at this point if I exercise – that’s how full I feel.  Hard to imagine that I used to feel like this ALL THE TIME…

I’m going to add one more goal for this week:

  • No Sweets or Junk Food

Here’s to a successful Tuesday!

Today was definitely a Monday….and it kicked my ass.  Didn’t sleep well last night – I was dead tired, but I just kept tossing and turning.  And then it was another day of trying to figure out what drug the guy who got fired was doing and then trying to fix the shit he screwed up.