It’s been a rough few years…  At the end of April 2011, my dad died – and sometimes I think I’m still pulling myself back up after that.  Then the beginning of April 2013 my sweet Angus died.  I now officially HATE April!  My Mom also moved to what I call assisted living, but in reality it’s more of a nursing home.  But she’s doing really well there – although she hates April as much as I do…

I’ve also been seeing a therapist – for almost 2 years now I believe – it started out that I wanted to get approved for WLS, and it’s turned into I really want to fix my food issues.  Some progress has been made – it’s been just over 1 year since my last purge (YAY!), my binges are less frequent and less “bad” as well.  I’m still struggling with mindless eating and overeating – but I’m working on it!  I see her one day a week and as much as I hate it sometimes (like last week), in the end I do feel better after seeing her.

I think my weight has stayed pretty much where it was the last time I wrote – in other words more than I want to be carrying around daily.  And I can honestly say that it is effecting my quality of life – which is why I’m still pondering WLS.  But the shrink has to give the okay for that to happen.  So it’s something I try to not obsess over.

I still see the Evil Trainer – though not as often as I should – and he’s still hopeful that I can lose the weight and keep it off!  Bless his twisted little heart.  My big hang-up is knee pain – it has started to affect every aspect of my life.  So I’m doing a once weekly (for now) water aerobics class to see if that helps, and next week I’m seeing a PT to see if she can help as well.  If I had less pain, I think I’d be more active.

I’m working at a different job than I was last time I blogged – it’s not a dream job by any means, but I’ve decided it would be good for me to hang in rather than cut and run.  It gives me the freedom to see the shrink, not to mention it’s not too far from her office – so I’m staying for now.

After Angus died, it was just too lonely going home to an empty house – so I found a new boy to love.  He’s a (now) 9-year old, 180-lb, English Mastiff named Dutch.  And he’s just the biggest, sweetest goober!  He came from a giant breed rescue – Big Dogs Hugs Paws – and I couldn’t love him more.  He’s been with me almost a year now.

So that’s me today…

I have an appointment this Thursday to meet the doctor who I’ll be getting the colonscopy from – I’m hoping she will tell me I have some alternative other than the damn IV (yeah, still freaked out about that!).  But since I don’t have any family medical history because I’m adopted, I try to do the thing I need to do when I’m supposed to do them – EVEN IF IVs ARE INVOLVED…

Besides I’ve got a brand new thing to stress about for the next week.  Took my big beautiful boxer boy Angus to the vet today for his yearly checkup, and to have the vet look at a growth he has on one of his back toes.  Well, she thinks it’s a big melanoma and so on Monday he’s having surgery to have it removed, and to have his gums lasered back from his teeth.  Yeah, you heard me right, his gums grow over his teeth – it’s called Gingival Hyperplasia, and boxers are prone to it – this will be his second time getting lasered.  The surgeries will mean 10 days of baby food (for his dental work) for Angus and 2 weeks of him not being able to go to daycare (while his foot heals) – and no daycare makes one unhappy doggie.  :(

But on a happier note, my new top bar beehive is en route!  Have I mentioned I’m going to try beekeeping??  I’m very excited to get it placed and get my back garden all ready for bees!!!



The wallowing is over….and I didn’t binge, or give in to the siren song of pizza.  YAY!

Angus had his post surgery check this morning – and the results were back on the two masses he had removed from him mouth….  BENIGN! The Vet gave him many dried liver treats to celebrate…and to get him to forgive her for the recent surgery…



He had a bit of “work” done on Tuesday, so I’ve been just laying low and taking care of him.  He had his gums lazered back (they were growing over his teeth), he had a couple of “masses” removed from his mouth (waiting for the results of the tests on them), had some wart like things removed, his ears cleaned, and the pièce de résistance was getting his anal glands cleaned.


Had my first Pilates session yesterday….  It was AMAZING, and although it was really hard, I survived.  And last night I was feeling pretty cocky – I was tired and a bit sore, but nothing horrible.  Then comes today…  OMFG my “core” is killing me every time I move.  I have muscles that I’m “feeling” today that I didn’t even know I HAD!

I signed up and paid for 15 more WEEKLY sessions…  HP said weekly would be better than every other week.  So I decided to commit!  And since she’s the fiancee of my ET, I don’t stand a chance of just skipping out on her.  Next Session?  Wednesday, 9/2 at 18:30.


I have NO idea how I’m doing weight wise…  I *think* I’ve lost, but I’m so out of touch with my body, I’m not sure.

I’ve been doing pretty well with the food (though today I STILL crave pizza and sweets), but I’m sucking at the exercise.  I just can’t seem to motivate myself.  Part of the problem is I HATE the MagneTrainer…it’s like riding a recumbant bike, and I can’t stand those – so in hindsight I don’t know that it was a good purchase.  But I suppose at least I’m doing something when I use it – and that’s always better than nothing….